Today is exactly seven weeks from my accident and while I have generally been very optimistic and have a positive attitude, it also hasn’t been easy. Being the control freak that I am, I want to know when things will be better and whether some things will ever be the same. My heart tells me it's God's timing, but my wondering mind asks when, if, and why. Here are some thoughts and ponderings that crosses my mind.
I wonder:
-when I can kneel down to reach things on the bottom shelf
-when I can walk up and down the stairs without full concentration
-if I will be able to outrun the waves that are crashing onto the beach
-if I can hike and climb down steep hills to get to “secret” beaches in Hawaii
-will I feel scared when I drive again
-when can I sit on the floor with my legs crossed
-when my upper body will stop feeling sore
-if I can jump again
-when I can sneeze and cough without my upper body hurting
-when will I be able to climb on top of the dryer to retrieve socks that fell behind it
-when I can independently go out without someone assisting me
-if I will be able to ride my bike again
-when I will be able to sleep through the night again
-when I can stand for more than 10 minutes
-when can I crouch down to play with my godson and all my friends’ kids
-when I will walk without a walker
-how much pain my accident caused my family and H
-when I can carry something and walk at the same time
-if I will have pain or discomfort for the rest of my life
-if my scars will go away
-if I will be able run again
-why this happened to me
2 comments:
Hang in there Winnie. I don't know anything about broken bones, but I'm sure recovery will be a long, slow process. But it will happen! And finally being able to do all the things you missed will be that much sweeter for the wait. And in the meantime, your suffering is producing endurance, character, and a hope that will not disappoint--and great blog entries!
Winnie. I just want to say you've shown a lot of grace and class in handling this whole situation. I know it's hard, but hang in there! And yes, your blog posts have been pretty great.
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